The Altar of Me - Part 7

On your knees before my Font, I offer my soul and body to you, my Master.  I adore the brightness of your Purity, the unerring keenness of your Justice, and the might of your Love.  You are the Strength and Light of my soul.  In you I live and move and am.  I desire never to grieve you by unfaithfulness to Grace, and I pray with all my heart to be kept from the smallest sin against you.  Mercifully guard my every thought and grant that I may always watch for your Light and listen to your Voice and follow your gracious Inspirations.  I cling to You and give myself to You and ask You by Your Compassion to watch over me in my weakness.  I implore you Master, to keep me in your Grace that I may never sin against you.  Give me Grace O Master, Spirit of Trust and Desire, to say to you always and everywhere, "Speak Master, for thy servant heareth."

And I lie there.  With the heat of your Candle waiting to be extinguished by the Font of my Desire.  My body aches for that release.  For you to take this cup away from me ... relieve me of this pain.

"My Beth, I think you are ready now.  You are ready to be completely mine ... to give yourself to me in body and spirit."  And with that you leave me once again.  At the brink ... looking down the edge and becoming dizzy with vertigo at the steepness of my Want.  Then movement, and I hear the sound of metal and glass coming into contact with each other.

"Beth ... it is time for you to deliver yourself to me.  For you to become mine ... body and soul.  Are you ready for that my darling Beth?"

"Yes, I am Master."

"Are you ready to be my property?"

"Yes, Master ... this girl delivers all of herself to your will and want."  I reply in a heavy sigh ...

"Darling Beth, are you ready to submit yourself completely to my will?"

"Yes Master.  Into your hands I commit my spirit."

And with that final word out of my quivering mouth, you proceed.  You lean over my face and kiss my cheek ... and the smell of Spikenard oil fills my head ... rebirth.  You consecrate my shoulders ... breasts ... neck ... arms ... and legs with the warm dryness of the Spikenard.  Once you have blessed my body with your hand you once again lean over my face.  Kiss my cheek ... and softly I whisper in your ear ...

"My Master, you are my heaven, hallowed be Your Name ... Your will be done."  And the tears start to stream down my face.  I sense my death near, and my rebirth ... ever closer.  You gently wipe my face, and taste the bitter saltiness of my tears upon your fingertips.  Once again ... your want ... your need ... your desire ... living through me ... in me ... about to be unloosed upon our bodies.

I then feel your hands go towards my left side and pick up an object.  Though I am blindfolded, I am aware of what it is.  It is my kollar.  The symbol of my will given to you ... that I am yours ... body and soul.

"Darling Beth ... know that by wearing this kollar you will not suffer eternal fire ... but obtain Salvation ..."

And I feel the heat of your hands approach my neck.  The stainless steel kollar ... cold to the touch ... DEATH ... it is soon warmed by my pulse jumping in my neck ... brought to life as it is locked around my neck.  It seals my fate ... yet I am resurrected.  It is finished.

"Wear it devoutly and perserveringly.  It is my kollar.  To be bound by it means you are continually thinking of me, and I in turn, am always thinking of you and helping you to secure the Salvation you seek my Beth."

I am yours.  I am consecrated.  The curtain of the Temple has been torn in two.  I have given up my form to you ... I am in a transitory state of Death and Life.  And Your Breath ... Your Fire is what I need to make it across.  The Candle and the Font ... the ritual continues ... the stirring ... the stirring ... glistening with oil of Spikenard that you had lavished upon my form ... I am aglow ... going into the Light ... and it is bliss.  I am in the rigormortis of want ... need ... desire ... and LUST!